Change and Goodbye

Notice the What's New section on my side bar? It's been there for quiet some time now. And I'm glad that I was able to snatch a moment to give further details about what's really going on with me for the past more than a month of I will say a little bit of stuggles in decision-making, career plan and financial management. Did I say a bit? I guess I am just being modest.


If you happen to read my post about my career realization here and here, you will really understand what I've been through.

The last quarter of year 2009, I was hot in pursuing other better job opportunities. What really makes me want to get out of my current shell are probably the same reasons most of you have - growth, challenges and change. After almost four years of staying without an attempt for any job application, the job hunting seems like a new experience to me. It feels like I'm a fresh grad just starting to discover a career except that now I am capable of thinking and expressing myself in a clear and consistent manner plus the fact that I already have experience compared to the one just starting to establish a career.

My struggle was not really in finding the job but in selecting which job I should take on. Early December, I had to think over the two equally better job opportunity knocking at my door. The one offers the technical exposure that I've been wanting for my over five years of doing software testing. While the other offers something different. Though the context is still a software testing, it is more on networks and technical configuration of routers. Both offers growth, challenge and change. Both offer good compensation. However it is the latter that offers better benefits and this really add to my confusion. It was really the first one I was eyeing but when the second offer comes in, I had a change of heart.

What follows was a long sleepless night because I know I had to make a decision come morning. After some pondering moments, I gave up my first choice and opted for the second one. I never thought it would be that hard turning down an offer that is also good plus giving an explanation to a person who in the first place had given me a favor. It was really consuming my mind thinking of best words to say so I won't cause any offenses.

What was next will be my confrontation of myself, the reluctant feeling of leaving and moving on. On my outer self is a composed one, very firm in my decision to pursue career development and challenge. But my inner self is leaning into the emotional side. To think that my almost four long years of stay were spent in a company of people and were consisted of happy thoughts, bonding moments and fun and comfort. I am really at ease if not only for the demands of time and change, I will be glad to stay. I know I have worked with some of most amazing and excellent people; people whom I had a different perception; perception that I realized was wrong once I started working with them; realization that had changed me somehow, professionally better.

Now, I am reluctantly counting the days. I somehow dread my first day of starting on my new company. It's the fright of knowing I will be working with a different set of people whom I didn't know. I will again go through another adjustment phase and I am crossing my fingers my stay with them will also be as best and memorable as my stay with my current company.

To everyone that I have worked with, shared a laugh, sentiments and insights with. To everyone who believed in me. My deepest gratitude are yours.

P.S. I am also crossing my fingers that my new company is not strict in implementing their internet connection policy. I hope I can still continue my blogging in between breaks :)