Contemplations

It's almost the end of year and a beginning of a new year. Just the usual time when we take a look at where we stand with our lives and dreams, whether we are where we expected ourselves to be.

We evaluate ourselves of the following:
- what we have and haven't accomplished
- the highlights and low-lights of the past year
- the things we should have done better
- the things that we haven't done because we were afraid of the consequences

I know somewhere, some are contemplating on the following rhetorical questions:

For those that are burn-out or no longer happy staying with their job, is it time to leave my job? Followed with, am I making enough money? Piece of advice: before you fly off your job, be sure to have a replacement. Remember that a bird in the hand is so much better than two in the bush. No matter how burn-out you are, spice up your patience to punch your time card until you find something else better.

For those that are planning to get married, is he/she really the one for me? Will our love lasts a lifetime? Am I ready to accept his/her flaws and love him/her with his/her imperfections? Hmmm.. are you having a pre-wedding jitters? Before you end up being a runaway bride/groom, think about this: can you live the rest of your life without him/her? If your answer is no, then it is likely that he/she is really the one for you despite all his/her imperfections and your love will lasts till you both have gray hairs and wrinkles on your face until such time that one of you will leave this earth.

For those half-halfheartedly deciding on something, is my decision right? Weighing the pros and cons of a decision is really hard. Just think about the consequences of what you are going to do and think about the good it will brought you and the people which will directly be affected by your actions.

For those experiencing problem with their life, will I survive this blow? Of course you will! God is not going to give you a cross you could not carry. Just hold on to him while steadfastly carrying on your burden. It is not always all the time that fate is against you.

Oh and I personally mull over some two questions above.

Just this Christmas, I had prepared a list of things I want to receive as a gift. A wish list. As expected, I have not received everything in that list. But as I withdraw myself from that christmassy feeling, I would like to replace that Christmas list with a 2011 wish list, my personal game plan of what will come next. Same to that Christmas wish list, I'm as well expecting some in the list will not go the way I planned it to be.

As I look back at my 2010 life full of surprises, ups and downs, I admit I could not 100% figure out where I stand. But with my 2011 wish list tucked in mind, I'm definitely sure to welcome 2011 with big changes :)

Crossing my fingers that luck will knock at my door this 2011 and the same wish goes to everyone.

Things to thank for

As I behest myself to reflect on my life this past one year, it dawned on me that despite a number of disappointments and an endless list of things unaccomplished, my life has still been considerably rich and rewarding.

For one, the problem I had encountered with my job application earlier this year had been a blessing in disguise. I have earned their trust and respect which in return, I had achieved yet again another factor that contributed to my 'self-worth'.

The confusion with my family was straightened out. The exchanges of defensive words had led us to listen and understand each other better. It helped us be more appreciative of each other plus the fight we had became an avenue for us to have an open communication and a higher degree of closeness. I admit it really helped me a lot. My worrying nature that causes me to be short-tempered lessens.

My nephew died and during this grave situation, my family was together and even my boyfriend was there to help. Together, we had pulled through each other, we had pulled though my brother. And this situation had instilled a lesson into my brother who I think is still not ready to be a father. Sad to say, a life-lesson learned at the expense of losing a family member. I know God did not want like this to happen, but His will serves a purpose. During those moments at the hospital, while watching my nephew having a hard time breathing, I whispered to God that if he's really meant for us then save my nephew of all the pain and let him live, but if he's not then take him and we will give him back to Him. It helped me realized that whatever He gave us will be taken from us if were not worth it.

My relationship with my boyfriend has its own ups and downs. The ups had let us enjoy and cherish each other, the downs made us appreciate and bring the best of each other making our bond stronger. I pray that this bond is tight enough to face another storm that surely would come our way and I also pray that nothing will obstruct our plan this coming year.

Lastly, I've been financially tight but despite the low budget, we were able to get through by not being recklessly wasteful.

I have other things to be thankful of, the good friendship I have with some, my housemates, yen, zette, shiela (we are with each other whenever the low of life hits)... my mother despite being an old woman is still trying her best to cook meals (the best!) for us, new acquaintance (Ms. Mabelle who's trying to help me with my Mary Kay business). I also want to thank people who had been unpleasant and had added a challenge to my life. It is also through them that I considered my life meaningful. Without this kind of people, how on earth would I learn how to deal with difficult people? For this, I thank God for sending them my way :)

I thank my boyfriend for giving me a laptop as a gift. With this laptop, I hope I could resurrect my blogging life.

I want Christmas Joys to Last

A whole year had gone by and before I knew it, this year's Christmas had already slipped off. Food were everywhere. Streets were busy and shopping malls were jam-packed with people who had jiggled their way for a last minute shopping. Everyone was filled with Christmas spirit. Even strangers I had met along the way had looked up and smiled at me with a hint of Christmas greetings in their eyes.

We feel so blessed, happy, forgiving and kind. We forgot misdoings of people who had hurt us. And personally, I want this special feeling to last all year long not just on Christmas season. I want it to last 365 days and repeat the joy of giving, sharing and loving year after year after year. Imagine a place where everyone is kind and living harmoniously with each other, what a perfect place to live!

I hope everyone had a happy Christmas.

Let's go bargain shopping

With the holiday fast approaching, everyone are going in and out of malls for their digs of gift items. But with the budget on the look, most of the people are heading to the cheapest place in the heart of Manila, to Divisoria, where shoppers can do their bargain shopping -- great finds at the lowest price! If you enjoy haggle then you'll find Divi, despite of it being crowded, a must place to go for shopping.

I'm taking advantage of tomorrow's holiday and planning my value shopping trip to Divisoria. I'm expecting my shopping would not be a breeze, streets will be jam-packed so I'm just crossing my fingers for a nice weather tomorrow. I'm also preparing myself for a haggling, walking and bargaining.

My first stop - Divisoria Mall - a three-story shopping mall and market along Juan Luna Street. Here I plan to buy toys for my nephews and nieces, t-shirts/shors for my inaanak, gift items for office mates and friends.

Second stop, if I'm lucky, I could roam around Tabora St. to look for threads that my mama could use for her sewing needs and gantsilyo making. I remember the last time I came for a holiday shop in Divi, Tabora St. were so crowded I could hardly move.

Third stop, 168 mall. Most of the people go here for modern and more convenient wholesale and retail shopping. This mall houses wide selections of stores offering all kinds of commodities from novely items, bags, shoes, office supplies, RTWs and other.


With a company of good friends, I will surely enjoy shopping. But beware, some are so engaged with their shopping that they didn't notice their wallets or celfones are already gone.

Here are few tips that I just wanna share:

- list down items that you want to buy and estimate the price
- come down to a budget and bring money that is just close within your allotted budget
- arm yourself with a cash, credit cards are useless here. Just enough cash and beware of pick pockets
- dress comfortably, don't wear jewelries
- be alert and always mind your belongings

My first blog award, ever!

Just wanted to brag about this new blog award I received from Aries. Thank you so much for letting me know my thoughts (some are jabbers) went unnoticed.


I am passing this on to the following:

1. RicAdemus (http://ricademus.blogspot.com)
2. Weezer (http://weezershaven.blogspot.com)
3. Ems (http://robinemz.blogspot.com)

I would like to add more when I get back. Right now, need to go back to work. The server is now up and running which means time to get busy.

On Breaking Up and Moving On

Why is that most of the guys I happened to encounter lately are, apology for my term but this I think would best describe them, -- chicken!

How would you call a guy who you've fallen in love with, whom you stayed in love with for years, whom you expect to go on loving for years to come, will just be gone like a bubble disappearing in thin air without any word leaving someone in a limbo

Coward!

I haven't been in the position of a woman being left behind but I can't help it but feel my friend's recent torment. A breakup, where two people agreed to set part ways can still be emotionally painful but when a relationship has come to an end without you knowing the reason behind why it happened, it can be distressing.

An advice to any guys out there who wanted so much to get out in a relationship but doesn't know how to do it, don't just leave your woman hanging. You are just hurting her more. Don't be so chicken that you just think and decide "it's alright, she can easily forget me". Knowing a woman, she'll keep on asking why and will not be fully appeased until she got an answer. Worst, she'll be afraid to re-establish another relationship. Have a courage to talk to her and say what you really mean to say. If it's breaking free with the relationship, let her be the first to know. And end it in person not thru emails, texts or phone calls. Have the decency to say it to her face.

For girls, surely you can move on. This is not the end of world for you yet. If a guy wants out he means it and for you wanting to go back into a relationship with this person likely won't change the fact that he does not want it anymore.

If a guy left you without a word of hint and you keep on thinking about why's and what ifs, then seek a formal closure. Don't be afraid to ask for a meeting and say your final goodbye. Remember that the purpose of your meeting is to end the relationship so don't hope and try to patch things up with him. When you're done, move on with your life. It is normal that at first you'll feel the pain each time you think of him and your days together. How to deal life when you're hurting? I always advice a friend to do some makeover but not for the purspose of winning back the guy but to gain the confidence she had lost. Focus your attention to your job, enjoy being free. But never jump into another relationship unless you're all healed and ready to love again. Look for someone who knows how to appreciate you. Don't settle for something less.

Closure: Why is it really important to have this even for past relationship?

Here's an explanation I found which I like most:

Why look back?
Chapman: If you move out of a relationship without resolving past relationship hurts, disappointments and failures, you may hamper your ability to be open, to trust, to engage or to be close and honest. The moment you get into another relationship, these issues tend to arise. In fact, most of the problems that people have in relationships come from "unfinished business" from prior relationships.

And another one, how to let go of exes without needing closure

My wish to this friend of mine is a fast healing process and a love that she is wishing to be hers forever.

P.S.

It feels good to be writing again! Glad that the inspiration struck me today and had the time to entertain this pleasure of writing.

Chasing Holidays

For anyone wondering about my new job, well it's no longer a new job :) Been with the same company for 10 months now. Adjustment period was over but the busy days are not, projects keeps on coming so my hands are all tied.

As of now, I'm aligning myself tight with the project schedule. Today, just got a few minutes to hover online hoping to find a pleasant destruction from all of the stress I'm keeping inside. Received a comment from ricademus. The line 'new job' just beat some writing words off my head.

Oh, new job. Not that I'm not happy about it but when you're draining all you could say is 'ugh'!

Anyway, I should be happy and refreshed today because I just got from a two-day vacation. But remembering those two days, those weren't actually relaxing. I'm looking forward to another holiday but the next holidays are still more than a month from now.