I'm trying to revive my blog and taking advantage of every little time I've got amidst hectic schedule but the only chance I could get is when almost everyone in the office is leaving and I too felt the need to rush out.
By this time, picture me sitting in the middle of the office room, surrounded by empty working cubicles. Aircon is off and ALL ligths are on. My head swells. I'm feeling like my hair is standing on end. I'm wiggling my toes... I'm looking away from the mirror on my table thinking I might see ghostly reflections. Aside from the noise I'm producing because I'm typing this as hard and fast as I can, there is an occassional tapping sound on the keyboard on one of the cubicle at my farthest right. I'm hearing noises at my back, sound like the filing cabinet is being opened. Someone is like shuffling papers at the printer. Gosh!! Are these all my imaginations?
I must leave but I can't. I need to finish the installation of this application. Of all the good times, why this installation is taking so long now! I need to check this one damn, tricky bug so come Monday, this will be no longer on my to do list - one off the load. Oh, What the heck!!! I'm hearing footsteps! ***Sigh*** Goosebumps!
It's my officemate, thank God! Wait!!! Is he really??? I called his name, oh yes he did respond. Gulp, I can breath now. He'll be staying till 10pm. Whoaa!
Sayonara onee-san
I don't want to make it a habit that every time I have a time to update this blog, I bring in sad stories. Maybe because I'm down and sad, and thoughts keep on pestering me that I need to find a way to discharge it. And writing down is just the easiest it is like applying a balm to my aching heart.
Some says it is hard being the one to leave but it is harder being the one who stays. For me, what's most disturbing is not knowing, even a hint, the reason of someone's decision to just 'pop' and disappear. But the aching part here, is that a person you have learned to love decided to took her life and walk out of everyone's life forever. No more seeing her face, no more hearing her laughter, no more feeling her as you walk hand in hand.
The things that you can do when such tragedy happens is to just hold on to happy memories. The resentment if there might have been, the misunderstanding if it existed all forgotten. Ironic, because when a person is gone that is the only time that one realizes that person's importance, all the good things done will be remembered. Misdoings all forgiven.
Though I don't have any resentment and don't recall any misunderstanding, but the part that I'm guilty about is that I had kept my distance. If I tried a harder, will it be a little different?
To my onee-san, even though I have just known you in a little while, I'd still have my memory of you. You've loved my mother and that was the reason why I looked up to you. To you, sayonara.
And forgive me if I'm questioning you over something I don't have the right to ask and for doubting you. I don't know your dilemma. I don't have any idea of what you've been thru. And for that... gomensai...
Sayonara onee-san :(
Some says it is hard being the one to leave but it is harder being the one who stays. For me, what's most disturbing is not knowing, even a hint, the reason of someone's decision to just 'pop' and disappear. But the aching part here, is that a person you have learned to love decided to took her life and walk out of everyone's life forever. No more seeing her face, no more hearing her laughter, no more feeling her as you walk hand in hand.
The things that you can do when such tragedy happens is to just hold on to happy memories. The resentment if there might have been, the misunderstanding if it existed all forgotten. Ironic, because when a person is gone that is the only time that one realizes that person's importance, all the good things done will be remembered. Misdoings all forgiven.
Though I don't have any resentment and don't recall any misunderstanding, but the part that I'm guilty about is that I had kept my distance. If I tried a harder, will it be a little different?
To my onee-san, even though I have just known you in a little while, I'd still have my memory of you. You've loved my mother and that was the reason why I looked up to you. To you, sayonara.
And forgive me if I'm questioning you over something I don't have the right to ask and for doubting you. I don't know your dilemma. I don't have any idea of what you've been thru. And for that... gomensai...
Sayonara onee-san :(
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