Inward Reflection

God doesn't play dice. When He created me, He was looking at a bigger picture. He was looking at the future. I have a little significant purpose that is why I am here. I may feel my life is just following a wandering course, it is because I have yet to understand or realize the reason of my existence.

Today is my second day of reading The Purpose Driven Life book. Reading this book was an overdue plan made into action when during our Christmas exchange gift, we were required to give a wish-list worth at least 500 pesos. I could not think of anything but the pepper spray (for self-defense) amounting to 300 pesos and this book, the Purpose Driven Life at 225 pesos.

Since before I've been questioning God why I was born this way. Honestly, I am not fully satisfied at how I physically look. I don't like my built, I'm petite and always been a victim of ridicule. Sometimes, it is the root of my diffidence. But since high school till then I learned to stand and face those bouts of life. I became sturdy instead of vulnerable. I became flexible. I've got insecurities and whenever this feeling strikes, I always remind myself to be happy of what I got and to look at my positive traits. See what God had made me? I developed a strong personality.

God prescribed every single detail of your body. He deliberately chose your race, the color of your skin, your hair and every other feature...

My petite figure is definitely not a mistake. Whenever I overcome insecurities and whenever somebody praises me for the beauty they'd seen in me, I tend to show feelings of unwarranted importance because of overbearing pride. I struggle inside to suppress that exuberance. But my friends or acquaintances, they may have their own observations and thoughts. I may felt or convinced myself that I had suppressed that pride but I may unknowingly acted just the opposite. And I'm not happy about that. My petite figure is not a mistake or accident. God knows if He had given me a perfect figure, I may not learned how to appreciate what I have, to be considerate of the feelings of others and to be humble. The way I am is purposely given by God to bend me to someone pleasing to Him. Right now, I'm not saying I am perfectly humble, deep inside I'm restraining that pride but I am trying to be humble with no sense of excessive self-respect.

Everything we posses has its intended purpose that molds us into who we will become.

I should have not posted this, this is my inward reflection and I initially intend to silently keep it in me. But I just would like to share it so that anyone who feel like he's somebody would start thinking how to bring down his inflated feeling of pride, his feeling of superiority and just learn to be modest and appreciate what others have without the grudging admiration.

1 comment:

RicAdeMus said...

You are a beautiful girl. It is good to be humble, but you also have to be careful because there are people who would try to take advantage of you.

Pretty girls and men with money have to be careful. =)

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