The ten years are over

Once upon a time, when this girl was just 17, she’d outlined a plan of having her dreams achieved within the next ten years. The future ‘ten years’ were comprised of lucid but distant images forming within the confined of her head. A girl with an eagerness to make her life better and with sense, she’d focused her attention to continue her one track journey to a future that is still so unpredictable.

In her mind ran picturesque dreams of what she wanted her life to be. In her dreams, it was very easy to arrange everything according to plan without encountering complications, disputes, consequences of her every actions, troubles, and the antagonists – to whom she will be dealing with later on in her life.

Her pensive thoughts and her passion for life affected her disposition, her control to direct her life according to what she wanted and not to what her immediate kin dictated. Her personality, I may say, is both defined and authoritative – very classical which just made her more sturdy and determined.

One by one and slowly, the leaf of the ‘ten years’ were flipped open. The vivid dreams she had had were painted but on these pages the images were altered and lots of settings were added. The people she’d hope she’d be with were no where in sight. The happenings that she’d never dream of occurring come to pass. At some point, there were mishaps and her messing up of her life. It was never perfect. She took the wrong move. She trudged a wrong turn. She’d reacted to people in a wrong way, misjudged some instead of trusting them and trusted some when she should not have. The life that she intended to be differs from the one she’d drawn in her memory. But in totality, all of it was never frustrating. All of it comes down to a life’s lesson brought by experience in her years.

Sometimes, this girl has this yearning of coming back to that past to re-paint her dreams, alter some and restart again to efface all the unpleasant things that happened and to make right of all her mistakes. But no, this time she knows better. She is now aware of the truth that in reality, everything is far from perfect and each action results to a series of consequences. Consequences that may either be a major break through or a downfall. No matter how she would like to change the past, unpleasant things are always bound to happen. No matter how she wanted to have every thing in place, her decision, outlook in life and attitude will always affect the outcome. Not to mention that she also cherished all the memories of people she’d met unexpectedly and the lessons that came with her every wrong decision.

This post is dedicated for her 27th birthday. The age that she’d hoped all her dreams will be realized. Tomorrow will mark the end of the ‘ten year’ margin she’d set for herself to accomplish her goals. In some way she feels like celebrating because somehow her ten years had been fruitful. On the other hand, she is feeling a lump in her throat whenever a thought struck that the ten years had already ended.

... And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It is the life in your years that matters.

What a writer needs

This has been the longest time I was out of blogging - no new post and no blog-walking. I know some of you may wonder why I haven't got any updates on my blog. I so wanted to post a new entry but found no sensible topic to talk about. I've had my several moments when the inspiration struck but thoughts were just drowned by urgent matters at hand - workload and deadlines. And when I had the chance to sit and finally put thoughts into writing, my mind would go blank. I was only seeing white spaces. I was trying hard to look for words to describe my intent of writing but just like a blind man, I felt like I was groping in the dark.

There will always be days that a writer needs an inspiration from one musing to another. Sometimes, that inspiration comes from unlikeliest situation. My main source of reflections are people around me, my past and daily experiences and some reads from inspirational books. But when an inspiration is suppressed without me acting upon it immediately, it eventually dies down and so is my enthusiasm of writing sometimes comes with it.

The reason why I started blogging was not only because I wanted to enhance my skills in writing and improve my vocabulary. It is more of an exercise of clarifying my mind of negative thoughts, focusing on positivity of every situations while extracting viewpoints and new ideas from my every reflection.

Whenever I sit down to write, I always ask myself the purpose of my writing. If someone reads it, will they get insights from it? Will they learn something new from reading it? After reading, will they also have their own reflection? Whenever I post some rantings, I don't feel any ounce of achievements from writing down my raves. That's not the kind of composition I wanted to accomplish. I wish to be a creative writer who never run out of ideas.

This is me ranting and I have came up with this post because of my current inability to write down thoughtful topic. But I hope that you also find this one informative.